The new year

People always make those goals for the new year in hopes to become a better this or better that. Thinking on the year before and what I'd want to do to make myself better...I can't come up with anything. I started school again last year and will continue that this year. I became more involved with the gym in taking care of posting wods each day and will continue that this year. Those are all good things that I guess I just renew them this year? I have no new ones to work towards? I hate the goals that I'll go to the gym more, lose this, gain that. What I should really focus on is time management. I'm not very good with that. I'm always late. to everything. It's a habit that really needs to be broken.
I became more myself and no longer was just a yes girl and I continue to carry that motto over to this year. This has developed into a new issue that I must embrace and that's the testing of my strength and self worth. I've always seen myself as an individual that doesn't really fit in to one certain category. But in all this holding all my cool personality and awesome traits some small yet very important things have slipped off my plate. My faith, which in the past has given me the ability to forgive and forget. Let things that bother me not take over my mind and turn me into a crazy person. I was tested and failed. I realized this which I should see as a good thing in that aspect (being able to see what I need to do to stop the flow of the negative) and be able to turn it around. I hate being a negative person and I hate harboring hate for people or things. It makes me feel bad about everything. It's ugly and it makes me ugly. And lets face it, I'm not ugly :)
I'm sure I mentioned this before that I feel like I'm getting a second chance. Things have repeated themselves not exactly but pretty close and seeing it in that manner I've made better choices with my actions and words. And surprisingly the outcome is much better. But I feel it's made me weak. I calculate, look into and observe EVERYTHING. I worry. It makes me sick. I think the one goal I'll make for myself this year to me find that carefree nothing could go wrong trait I used to carry with white knuckles.