It's here again

The World Cup is upon us and I can't be more excited. I"ll be honest and tell you that I do not know all the rules but I still love to watch. Opening game against Brazil and Croatia was amazing. I would give just about anything to have been in that stadium during the opening ceremony and the game. Last night was USA v Ghana which we are in a pretty rough group from what I've learned and will have to work hard to make it. USA did just that scoring in the first minute and keeping them off till almost the end of the game. The whole game I was yelling at the tv. When the game was over the crowd erupted! I wouldn't be lying if I said I almost cried. In my battle for sleep I've been having this past month I decided to try and watch this documentary over Egypt and their road to the World Cup. Their coach was none other than the USMNT previous coach Bob Bradley. I only made it through the first 20 minutes before I had to turn it off to try and make myself go to sleep but just watching how a country can gather around a sport is unreal. I've watched several stories about different countries and their clubs and what an impact they have on them. It's awesome. I've decided. The next World Cup. I will be there. Which according to WWW it will be in Russia. Never been there. So it should be fun. I just have 4 years to try and find a travel buddy or group to go along.

Watching the World Cup and all it's excitement has got me thinking about my life and what I find passionate. I find passion in cooking, especially when it's for someone. In Crossfit, it's silly to say. Last weekend I stayed and did oly work with the Steve Miller and in the one class I learned a lot of good cues and what I need to work on to get my lifts where I want them. It's things like the position of my shoulders over the bar or how fast my third pull is can make a world of a difference. During our work I was doing 3 position drills with 73 lbs and then a few times with 83 which my PR for snatch is 98...clearly I'm off on one of my pulls. So getting a little work on them was fun and seeing that I can do these things and I can lift that weight just like everyone else in the gym. It's a satisfying feeling. In laundry I find passion. I love the smell of clean clothes....and skin but that's not laundry related. Actually I like to smell. It might be my favorite sense besides touch. I take pride in folding clothes and it shows my love, for myself and who ever's clothes I might be folding. I find passion in sharing, my life, my thoughts, fears, goals and space with someone. It's a rare thing to find someone you never tire of seeing or being with. When it changes from a want to a need to be by them. To be able to hold them when the feeling of being with them overwhelms you that you reach out and hold their hand to tell them you are happy they were there right when you needed them at that moment. My new passion which is knitting. I haven't taken much time with it but when I have I love it. It's fun to sit and work on a project for a few hours and be done or work on something for a week. It's another way I feed my caring nature for someone. My projects are never super awesome but they are always made with love and whoever has a scarf I've made them knows it's because I love them and made that specific thing with them in mind. It's a good feeling when I see them wearing it because they know it's especially for them.

When I first started thinking about what passions I carried I was thinking there wouldn't be that many but I have a lot. I'm full of passion to the point where everything I do is for a reason. I never want to do something just because. That's no fun and I won't get that feeling of accomplishment or pride out of it. It's hard sometimes to follow what my passion draws me to because not everyone agrees with what I'm doing or where I'm going. But I blindly follow it. It's there for a reason, it knows more than I do and can see the bigger picture.Knowing my passion will take me where I never thought I'd want to be makes those little hurdles I have with school or fights in a relationship or family drama not such a big deal. It's a time to learn about that person and/or myself and how we can better work together or communicate and rebuild that bond or path to a better one. Just because the path I've chosen isn't what others would have picked for me or isn't the easiest doesn't mean it wasn't meant to be. If everything was easy you wouldn't appreciate it as much when you finally got it.

Do what you love...

With it being graduation season people have been posting this great speech and that great speech. Watching them I've been really moved by what they preach. Now, I'm not sure if it's because of where I'm at in my life that I feel like I'm needing a boost or new direction. Okay maybe not new direction but just a reminder that things happen for a reason and I can't control what or who I want to be in it or when or how long. I have to realize that what I want for myself won't happen overnight or six months from now or even a year but what I have learned is that in 6 months or a year I will be closer to what I want. In years past I've taken everything that has happened to me and treated it as a lesson so I don't repeat it again in my future and be doomed to having to re-learn my lesson all over again and feel that pain again and possibly even more than I did before because I knew what was coming before it happened. But here lately I've been taking things more as experiences and not lessons. It takes two to tango and I can't be the only to bare the lesson. And maybe in situations one person learns a lesson and the other takes it as experience. I'm pretty sure my lesson bucket is almost over flowing and it's time I get to write down some experiences in the books. It's been a crazy year and I feel that this is the first time that I can say I'm not really sad about what has happened. I"m disappointed that's for sure but I have to realize that not everyone I encounter is going to be on my level and understand where I'm at and what I mean and what I expect. They may say they do but they do not. They may have similar experiences but they are not exactly like mine. And they may not be over those experiences or have completely learned the lesson they were to learn from it. It's a shame when you meet someone and you come to that feeling you think they are great and fun but they aren't ready for you and what you have to offer in the game. And they want it, they just don't know how to get it.  It's a hard thing to learn that in order to be happy you have to sometimes let go of those that aren't meant to be there. Or that you need to remove them from the place they used to hold in your life so someone else can be there. And that doesn't just mean a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a friend. It could also be a job.
I am a good person and I am definitely worth someones while. We just maybe haven't crossed paths yet. Or maybe we have they just aren't ready. And I have to be okay with that. In a commencement speech Jim Carrey gave last week he said
 “Now fear is going to be a player in life, but you get to decide how much, you can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all it will ever be is what’s happening here, the decisions in that we make in this moment, which are based in either love or fear. So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect, so we never dare to ask the universe for it." 
Which is totally true. I worry about how I'm going to get there or when. I need to live in the now and enjoy the experiences I make along the way. Those experiences gained is what's going to make finally getting there so much more awesome. I have no doubt I'll eventually get to where I'm going I just need to see these hurdles as just hurdles and not road blocks. This new view has completely changed my outlook on what I've been going through and made it much easier to deal with. That's not to say that it's been a breeze but I'm able to look at it and see that there's nothing I could have done to change that persons mind or heart. It just happened. And maybe in the future we'll cross paths again and maybe then we will both be in the right place in our lives to welcome someone into our hearts. Until then I'm not going to sit and wait. I have a life that needs to be filled with excitement and adventure. And because they are dealing with the struggle doesn't mean I need to create my own struggle in waiting for them. 
In another commencement speech it talked about life lessons and how one small thing can turn into big things. Small habits I have tried to pick up and start that will make a morning good, then a successful workday to a blissful weekend. This repeated over and over will turn into one rad life and it all started with that one good habit I started in the mornings. It's exciting to feel as if I'm really growing up and knowing who I am and what positive light I can bring to those around me. If I want to be surrounded by good fun loving people then I need to be that for them. Be what you want to see in the world. If I'm great then great things will come to me. I just have to ask. 

Jim Carrey Commencement at MUM 2014

Naval Adm. William H. McRaven, BJ '77, ninth commander of U.S.Special Operations Command, Texas Exes Life Member, and Distinguished Alumnus. University-Wide Commencement The University of Texas at Austin 2014