With it being graduation season people have been posting this great speech and that great speech. Watching them I've been really moved by what they preach. Now, I'm not sure if it's because of where I'm at in my life that I feel like I'm needing a boost or new direction. Okay maybe not new direction but just a reminder that things happen for a reason and I can't control what or who I want to be in it or when or how long. I have to realize that what I want for myself won't happen overnight or six months from now or even a year but what I have learned is that in 6 months or a year I will be closer to what I want. In years past I've taken everything that has happened to me and treated it as a lesson so I don't repeat it again in my future and be doomed to having to re-learn my lesson all over again and feel that pain again and possibly even more than I did before because I knew what was coming before it happened. But here lately I've been taking things more as experiences and not lessons. It takes two to tango and I can't be the only to bare the lesson. And maybe in situations one person learns a lesson and the other takes it as experience. I'm pretty sure my lesson bucket is almost over flowing and it's time I get to write down some experiences in the books. It's been a crazy year and I feel that this is the first time that I can say I'm not really sad about what has happened. I"m disappointed that's for sure but I have to realize that not everyone I encounter is going to be on my level and understand where I'm at and what I mean and what I expect. They may say they do but they do not. They may have similar experiences but they are not exactly like mine. And they may not be over those experiences or have completely learned the lesson they were to learn from it. It's a shame when you meet someone and you come to that feeling you think they are great and fun but they aren't ready for you and what you have to offer in the game. And they want it, they just don't know how to get it. It's a hard thing to learn that in order to be happy you have to sometimes let go of those that aren't meant to be there. Or that you need to remove them from the place they used to hold in your life so someone else can be there. And that doesn't just mean a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a friend. It could also be a job.
I am a good person and I am definitely worth someones while. We just maybe haven't crossed paths yet. Or maybe we have they just aren't ready. And I have to be okay with that. In a commencement speech Jim Carrey gave last week he said
“Now fear is going to be a player in life, but you get to decide how much, you can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all it will ever be is what’s happening here, the decisions in that we make in this moment, which are based in either love or fear. So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect, so we never dare to ask the universe for it."
Which is totally true. I worry about how I'm going to get there or when. I need to live in the now and enjoy the experiences I make along the way. Those experiences gained is what's going to make finally getting there so much more awesome. I have no doubt I'll eventually get to where I'm going I just need to see these hurdles as just hurdles and not road blocks. This new view has completely changed my outlook on what I've been going through and made it much easier to deal with. That's not to say that it's been a breeze but I'm able to look at it and see that there's nothing I could have done to change that persons mind or heart. It just happened. And maybe in the future we'll cross paths again and maybe then we will both be in the right place in our lives to welcome someone into our hearts. Until then I'm not going to sit and wait. I have a life that needs to be filled with excitement and adventure. And because they are dealing with the struggle doesn't mean I need to create my own struggle in waiting for them.
In another commencement speech it talked about life lessons and how one small thing can turn into big things. Small habits I have tried to pick up and start that will make a morning good, then a successful workday to a blissful weekend. This repeated over and over will turn into one rad life and it all started with that one good habit I started in the mornings. It's exciting to feel as if I'm really growing up and knowing who I am and what positive light I can bring to those around me. If I want to be surrounded by good fun loving people then I need to be that for them. Be what you want to see in the world. If I'm great then great things will come to me. I just have to ask.
Jim Carrey Commencement at MUM 2014
Naval Adm. William H. McRaven, BJ '77, ninth commander of U.S.Special Operations Command, Texas Exes Life Member, and Distinguished Alumnus. University-Wide Commencement The University of Texas at Austin 2014
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